Pablo, You Still Doin Alright Man????

I was just thinking earlier today that I regret not having more to write about on my blog. It seems like being stuck on this little base in the middle of nowhere Iraq has drained me of any worthwhile conversation. It also seems that every time I don't have any gems to verbally exhort to the world through my blog portal, I find one just waiting to be explained through the eyes of an "insider lookin out". Hopefully that last comment makes sense to you. Usually, I find myself to be the contrarian whether it be for the sake of my own amusement, or the true expression of a heartfelt conviction. However, after my latest astonishment by way of perusing the headlines I think I am going to side with the vast majority of rationalists who seek to save the helpless throng from stupidity. This is something I don't normally adhere to because while I love science, rules, boundaries, and the like, it always seems that there is something majestic about being human that defies the expectations of "smart people" and science alike even if it is only a smile.

Thankfully Mr. Pablo Falcon, with the help of National Geographic, has given me an idea to ponder for hours on end. Pablo is a dope smokin space cadet Native American healer who accepts cash money for his great spiritual advice and services. He caters to desperate people who don’t know where to turn for real answers all walks of life offering good health and a sound mind. Fortunately for Pablo the answer to the fountain of youth doesn’t have all the overhead costs of gadgets, gizmos, and creams, made in the coastal factories of China. Pablo doesn’t have to worry about resellers, global supply chains, and worker health benefits in order for his business to thrive. Why, you ask? The answer is you make the product in his business. That’s right, all you have to pay for is the spiritual consultation, and as soon as Pablo can convince you to drink you own urine you are AOK…… Pablo buddy, I’m just going to tell the people who read my blog that I think you are a JACKASS. Furthermore, the fact that National Geographic has given you a global platform only convinces me that science and those who support it are just as confused as the rest of us. Doesn’t National Geographic understand that you are a real world loony tune. This entire scenario could fit perfectly into an episode of South Park.

My heart really goes out to the two women in the video (click here to watch the video on National Geographic), that succumbed to drinking their own pee in front of a world audience. They will forever be known as buffoons to anyone who watched this video with a rational outlook on life. The only thing that I can give them credit for is defeating the intellectual pillar that excrement is unneeded by the human body, which by the way has been a long standing idea of great thinkers throughout the ages. One of the ladies being interviewed for the video on “urine therapy” even said, and I quote, “It is Mostly your head that gives you the problem”. The same woman also jokingly recited the old saying, “through the lips, and over the gums, watch out stomach, here I come”, before she imbibed her first dosage of golden nastiness.

In conclusion I will have to encourage the parents of college age kids to not worry too much about keg parties and all the drinking their children are probably doing. Look at it this way. Your kids are in college, learning, studying, and creating a better future for themselves. What you need to be thankful of is that someday your kids will grow out of their stupidity and assimilate to the world of adults. Hopefully; they will not regress to a state of intellectual retardedness that predates their infatuations with beer, otherwise they could end up turning their toilets into a fountain. But just in case I am wrong, which happens often, sorry Pablo for being such a jerk. I just had to go with my gut on this one.